Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
