My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
