so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
