I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
