Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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