We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
