laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
