If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
BRING THE BAGELS
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
