ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
