He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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