we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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