so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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