I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
