he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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