sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
