please come you make the beer taste better
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
