i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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