I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
