Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
