I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
