I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
