it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
