I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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