if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
