i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
