Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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