how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
