Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
