Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
