:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
