So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
