Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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