Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
