I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
her vagine was all disorganized.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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