Where are you?
In a non slutty way
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
