okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
