Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
