if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
