dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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