tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
