Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
