Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
