i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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