Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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