Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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