Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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