I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
