we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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