you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
