Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
