Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
